


Buffy Summers' Vampire Blindspot

by Witherstone



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Gen, Xander Hates Spike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28921683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witherstone/pseuds/Witherstone
Summary: S7, set in "Never Leave Me", right after Buffy told Spike she believed in him. What if the Bringers attacked an hour later that night, giving a chance for one more conversation?Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Buffy Summers' Vampire Blindspot

Buffy came up from the basement with a quiet resolve on her face. She didn't look at her friends as she made her way to the kitchen to wash the cloth with cold water. Removing blood stains was the only chore she practiced often enough to be good at.

In the living room, the Scoobies looked after her hesitantly. Willow gathered her things to leave and Anya got up, pulling Xander with her. Dawn raised herself up with a stern expression and followed her sister into the kitchen.

She watched her wash the cloth in the sink, a task as mundane as it was pointless. Slowly, she came around her, trying to meet her eyes.

"How is he?", she asked feigning disinterest. "Still with the crazy? We heard shouting."

"He's fine now." Buffy gave up on the cloth and turned off the water. "Doesn't remember anything. Feels bad for Andrew."

"Because of the soul thing?" Dawn was leaning over the counter with hands crossed at her chest. "So he can attack people now, but it makes him feel bad after?"

"No", Buffy sighed, turning to her. "I saw the chip work. The attacks have nothing to do with it. And the soul... makes it different for him. To realize what he's done, a-and to feel the pain-"

"So he's a victim now? That's why you let him stay in the house?" Dawn's voice was getting louder and more hysterical as her emotions overtook her. Buffy frowned, stepping closer to her.

"He's chained", she said soberly. "He is not a danger to you. I wouldn't do anything to make you feel unsafe in your own house, Dawn."

Her sister blinked away a tear and shook her head.

"That's a lie", she said, her voice breaking. "You don't care what happens to anyone else 'cause-" She was interrupted by Buffy violently hugging her, her hands on her hair. Dawn tried to resist for a moment but gave up and loosened her hands, hugging her back.

"I'm sorry, Dawn, honey. I'm so sorry", Buffy said to her hair, feeling her body shake. "Looking after you is my most important job. I'm sorry if you don't feel like it is."

Dawn cleared her throat, trying to get rid of a lump inside. "Slaying is your most important job", she whispered, moving away from her. She looked at the floor, fight gone. "I can only come second". She shuffled some trinkets on the counter to keep her hands busy. "But if he comes after me or you, he's dead. He should die."

Xander hesitated in the hall and gestured at Anya and Willow to go on without him. After they closed the front door, he took off his coat and went straight for the basement, trying to form his thoughts into coherent sentences. He walked carefully to not be spotted by the siblings as a plan formed in his head.

The basement was dark but for a few dim lights that barely illuminated the shapes of forgotten furniture, tall shelves and cardboard boxes. Xander stepped down the creaking stairs, eyeing the vampire chained to the wall; he stood in front of him and put his hands on his hips, scraping his shoes on the concrete floor.

Spike looked back at him, noticing his lack of weapons. He remained still, trying not to rattle the chains, forcing his body to appear relaxed as the man prepared himself to speak. Spike could never feel threatened by Xander despite the latter's efforts, and as defenseless and frustrated as he felt right now, Xander's attempt at intimidation was only making him irritated.

"She fought for you, you know", Xander finally started, keeping a safe distance and looking around the room. "With everyone afraid to have you here, she rationalized it into a fight with another evil." He was having difficulty saying it as every word seemed strained. "Got you into the house so that Dawn can start having nightmares about the killer from her basement, and nothing we said mattered, she wouldn't budge."

Spike remained silent, not even breathing. The rant seemed to gain momentum as Xander chuckled to himself, pacing around as he spoke out loud on what pained him the most.

"It's 'cause she fell for you a long ago and we didn't want to see it coming. Didn't want to believe she'll do it again. But she got herself another ensouled vampire... with bullshit excuses of extra muscle, tracking blood scent and tales of redemption... you should have heard her, she believed every word."

Two small steps, shoes scratching the concrete. Spike felt his fists tighten.

"She'll protect you with all she has now, against all of us, against everyone's better judgment."

One of the lightbulbs flickered. Small moths were circling it.

"So congratulations, Spike. You made it to Buffy Summers' Vampire Blindspot. Now no matter how many people you kill, how much damage you make, she will forgive you."

He couldn't take it anymore. "She doesn't love me-"

"Yes, she does." Xander looked for him for a fraction of a second, disgust and hatred clear on his face. "Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting better, but that's how it looks like in its ugly glory. With all the crying and sad smiles, Buffy loves you, had for a long time. 'Cause Buffy just doesn't do happy. It has to be all deep and painful for her to make it real."

_You like the men who hurt you. She was so quick to deny it._

"She tried to kill Anya just a week ago. Did you know that? Declared herself the law, all speech and high and mighty."

He didn't know, but it wasn't surprising. "Slayers do that-"

Xander interrupted him, of course. The rant wasn't finished. "It's always a Slayer thing. Now that's just a wonderful excuse." He relived that night, anger rising in him. "She drew a sword through Anya's chest over a dozen college boys, no questions asked. And Anya was ready to kill herself to undo it. But you just-"

"I asked her to kill me." Their eyes met for the first time. Spike's voice had a desperate tone and he felt ashamed of the outburst right away. "I asked her to do it more than once", he added, regaining control over himself. But Xander wasn't moved by his confession as he crouched down so their eyes were on the same level.

"You weren't the first, pal." He enjoyed taunting him. "She refused to let Angel die years ago. Fought him over whatever dramatic gesture he was pulling, because she convinced herself he could be salvaged. Now you can leave this town, ignore her for years and get it on with another woman-"

"There is no other-"

"She'll come a-runnin' at first holler. Right back to you." He raised his eyebrows, explaining. "Somehow, she got it into herself that being above others means she deserves pain, and I can't begin to understand how twisted that is. She wants to protect others so much, she only opens herself up to fuck-ups like you, consumed by their own sins. She'll keep you alive against your will to power her grief machine and have someone to talk to about dying."

They were both quiet for a while, words sinking in slowly. Xander stood up and turned away, determined to force him to listen to the end.

"I think I understand now why Slayers aren't supposed to live that long. Why they don't even get paid and use those absurd medieval weapons. No one deserves to get consumed by this darkness and seeing Buffy more and more corrupted every day... No wonder she was so eager to die for a cause before."

Spike gritted his teeth, the chains clattering behind him. He was getting impatient, hearing this boy gloat over his restrained form.

"You were right, we shouldn't have brought her back. As hard as it was, seeing her turn into a living corpse is much worse."

_"Did you hear something?" Buffy asked, passing another plate to Dawn to be dried._

"And I'm glad I don't love her anymore... because it's not worth it. Being loved by her is just getting saturated with that evil until you can't keep up anymore. All it does is turn you into a shadow of a person. It seems no mortal man can stand that."

Spike could hear light steps above them and wondered if the boy still had enough time to dust him before the cavalry arrived.

_You can't be saved. You'll just think about her forever-_

"Buffy's not your salvation, Spike. She's an anchor collecting sewage from the dark depths of this world. Sooner or later, she will break under the weight of it."

The basement door opened wide, a careful voice emerging. "Xander?"

He turned around, satisfied, a mean smirk on his face. "See? She's right there, making sure I don't honor you with a mercy kill." He ran up the stairs, leaving Spike drained and tired. The doors closed and he stared at the ceiling, pulling on the chains.

"She is more than that. She is much more than that."


End file.
